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     More change here in Adams, TN! The weather is cooling down and the leaves are changing! It is absolutely gorgeous here at the base. The changing leaves are such a beautiful example of the lives being changed here as the new DTS is in the middle of their  3rd week!

     Matt and I are still living upstairs in the main house, but we are preparing to move into a house within the next month or so. It has been very trying to always stay positive being newly married and living in community. We are looking forward to finally unpacking our things and setting up our new home. There is a lot going on here at the base. Matt and I were asked to lead the School Of Ministry Development (SOMD) on their outreach to Mexico City in November for 3 weeks. After a lot of prayer, Matt and I feel that it is an adventure that God is wanting to take us on. It is a bit scary as common sense is telling us the logical thing to do is to stay home and settle into life. One of the biggest struggles we are facing is to trust God's voice despite physical obstacles that may stand in our way such as finances or circumstances. When we accepted the call to missions, part of that was releasing what the world says we should do and following God's will, even when it doesn't make sense. We are excited to see what the Lord is going to be showing us through this opportunity. 

     It's back to court for me and my family on October 23, hopefully for the last time. The judge in charge of the case has recalled his sentence of 13 years. We are ready to put this behind us and finally be able to focus on the good memories of my mom and not be forced to think of what happened to her. This has brought about a whole new array of emotions as we thought we were finally finished with court. Please continue to lift my family up in prayer as together as we turn the page to the longest chapter in our lives. Thank you all for your faithful prayers and support. I am blessed to have you all in my life!

cooking in our "kitchen"

These last few weeks have flown by. I was just looking at pictures of my honeymoon and it seems like it was forever ago. It's hard to believe it has only been two months. Matt and I are still trying to get settled into life here in Tennessee as a married couple. Space has been limited and we don't have permanent housing yet. As for now we are content in our one room bedroom suite upstairs in the base!

This last month has been somewhat of a struggle for me. There

have been so many changes in such a short period of time, and let's just say the transition has been slightly more difficult than I had hoped for. My 'new wife's package' must be stuck in the mail somewhere. You know the package; the one that comes with the cooking, cleaning, ironing, grocery shopping, and time and money management instructions. Wait, there isn't a package? Crap. Eh, who needs a package anyway. Trial and error is the best way to learn anyways right?! 

Marriage has been such a fun challenge. There are so many things that you learn about each other. Those lovable quirks and habits that didn't seem to be there when you were dating. : ) But God has really been teaching Matt and I about being willing to let go of the way we think things should be and to start asking Him what He wants. I have felt such a heaviness the past couple of weeks as I have been focusing on what I think we have a right to versus what the Lord is teaching us and why He has put us exactly where He has for a reason. The minute that we relinquished our rights and our "control" over certain situations last night I felt like I could breathe again, and that peace I have been missing, that peace that He promises us when we step out in obedience, the peace that says that He is in control despite the world telling me otherwise, THAT peace washed over me and a new wave of excitement for where He has us now and for what is to come overwhelmed me and filled me with a renewed sense of appreciation for Him and His infinite wisdom and unending patience!

What an amazing opportunity it has been to go through these chaotic and trying times with Matt. From the beginning of our relationship we have been surrounded by trying circumstances that have given us such a strong foundation. I have been blessed to be married to a man who desires God's will and I am humbled by his heart to serve God and me. I would not want to be learning theses lessons with anybody else!                

                                                     

Home Sweet Home!

Ok ok, so I'm glad I didn't elope. Oh I can just hear the thousands of voices in my head saying 'I told you so'. A month ago I was so sure that eloping would have been the cure all pill for details falling through, unwanted opinions, and just the overall stress and frustrations that come with planning a wedding, and there wasn't a thing anybody could have said that would have convinced me otherwise. I guess hindsight is always 20/20 huh? Thankfully all the hard work paid off and I am married! Thank you to the people of "The Rock" for all of your help and for keeping me from going too crazy!

I've got to admit, taking a month to travel around the states isn't a bad way to spend a honeymoon. Beaches, mountains, camping, BBQ's, white water rafting, and visiting family and friends were all nice, but the best part was seeing and experiencing all these new things with my husband!

Like most changes in my life, I think it will take some time for this new reality to sink in. Even as I was packing my life up into boxes and watching Matt skillfully and oh so carefully shove it all into the truck, I had a sense that I wasn't leaving for good.

(Trying to fit my life in my truck)

That, like the rest of the many times I have said goodbye to my family, I would be back soon. Even being back here in Tennessee hasn't provided a much needed sense of permanency. Perhaps it is because the last two times I was here were temporary, here for 5 short months and then back to California. Nevertheless, it feels good to be home, even if I have to keep reminding myself that this indeed is my new home. I am excited about this new adventure. I am excited to be on staff with YWAM, to be married, and to live out the will that God has so plainly spoken out over my life. It feels good to be in His will. And as excited as I am about the future, I am even more excited to be in this place. This all too familiar place of unknown details and even a small unawareness of life, but I am looking forward to the adventure of figuring it all out with Matt!

Home Sweet Home!!!!

Is it too late to elope?

I am not what you would call a details person, nor am I what you would call a 'planner'. Despite my knowledge of these two minor facts, I never expected planning a wedding to be so stressful. Call it ignorance if you will, but I just expected to come home and make a few decisions here, a few color choices there, and Voila! A beautiful wedding!!!

Ok, so maybe I am a little ignorant, but you can add overwhelmed to the list as well! It's not even the big details that are getting the best of me, it's the little details like did I remember to rent a porta potty, or did I put together a clean up crew yet, or was that a set up crew? That's what's pushing me over the edge. It doesn't make me feel any better knowing that my organizational skills have failed me yet again when it comes to invites. The question as to whether it was my lack of organizational skills or the mail man that failed to deliver the invitations is still left to question, but either way, people have undoubtedly been forgotten. I hate that! If I had my choice, I would invite everyone that Matt or I have ever met to come to see us get married, but we are on a budget and we had to cut it down.

People keep telling me not to worry; that whatever happens, Matt and I will be married at the end of the day. As much as that makes me happy, I just want everyone else to to enjoy the day as well. I don't want people to feel like it was a wasted trip. I am looking forward to June 20th, when all the planning and preparation is finally over!

Matt gets here on Thursday! I can't wait to finally get to do some of the last minute planning with him!!! Even with all of the planning, I CAN'T WAIT TO BE MARRIED TO MATT!!!

Bridal Shower...part 2

Earlier this month I was so blessed to have the ladies at my home church in Bakersfield gather around me to help me celebrate my upcoming wedding to Matt. I had so much fun reconnecting with them and sharing the story of Matt and I.

Friday night I was blessed yet again as the wonderful woman from Calvary Chapel "The Rock" threw me an awesome shower.It was a bittersweet evening as I wished my mom could join in on the festivities, but I was so excited to have my two sisters there to help me celebrate. I was surrounded by woman who love God, loved my mom, and love me! Thank you to Lori Williams and Julie Acuna. You two have blessed me more than you will ever know! Many of these ladies didn't even know me personally, but jumped at the chance to help me celebrate my marriage because of their relationship with God, and for most, a relationship with my mom. What a beautiful example of the body of Christ! I love you all and am considered blessed beyond measure by you!!! Thank you!

Life as I know it...

Hmm…Where does one begin when writing about their life? I guess there is no better time than the present.
In 23 days I am getting married. I was never one to dream about their wedding as a kid, but if I had, it would definitely be different from the way it is going to be. Nobody dreams that their mom won't be there to share in the excitement, to help plan, and most importantly, to give them away. But such is the case. I have missed my mom's presence during this time. I could especially use her organization! Invitations would have been out on time and actually sent to all of the people who were supposed to get them. I think that has been the hardest part for me. Every time I think that I am actually doing it, I am actually planning my wedding, I find out that something, or someone was forgotten. That never would have happened if she were here. However, as hard and even as painful as it has been to go through this process without her here, it is still exciting.
In 23 days I will begin a new journey, a new chapter in my life. In 23 days I will walk towards the man that God has handpicked for me and willingly pledge my love and my life to him. It is still surreal to me. I think I am the last person that people would expect to get married. I think I always knew in the back of my mind I would eventually get married, but yet I am still surprised.
I am so ready to be done with the planning part of the wedding. I am ready to be done searching for chairs, figuring out what color tablecloth would look best, how many pounds of meat it takes to serve 130 people. Blah blah blah. Let’s face it; I am NOT a details person. If this shindig even resembles a wedding in any way, shape, or form I will be happy. Now, about the other 129 people…
I am ready to be done with the wedding prep and to enjoy the wedding. I am ready to be done with the wedding and to start the marriage. I am excited to move to Tennessee and pursue a life of missions. This has been a difficult process, but throughout every step, every inch, and every corner that we have turned, God has been there. Holding me, comforting me, listening to me, and most importantly leading me. He has showered me with a grace so refreshing. I am in awe of the God I serve. I have heard many people say “how can you believe in God when something like this happens”? Funny…I always think “How can you NOT believe in God at a time like this”? I can’t imagine this process without His love, His provision, His comfort, His promises, and most importantly His peace.